Signs of a Bad Day
- Every person you ask for job leads says "I wish *I*
had some job leads".
- Fellow co-workers talk *seriously* about jobs at K-Mart.
- People in your department greet each other with "How's the
job search?" instead of "How's it going?"
- Talking causes the newly formed zits around your mouth to
pop.
- The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
- The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
- The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like
your wife or the man you've been seeing on the side begins to
look like your husband.
- There is a '60 Minutes' crew at your office door.
- You accidently wash your hair with "Nair".
- You call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and they put you on
hold.
- You call your answering service and they tell you it's none
of your business.
- You find a completely empty parking lot when you get to work
at 8:00 AM.
- You find your boss, two higher levels of management, and a
security guard waiting for you when you get in.
- You find your office door has disappeared since last night.
- You get a paper cut from a get-well card.
- You go to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
and there aren't any.
- You have an asthma attack on the way to work, and you
confuse your inhaler with with your Mace.
- You have to borrow from your Visa to pay off your
MasterCard.
- You wake up face down on the sidewalk.
- Your income tax rebate check bounces.
- Your pet rock snaps at you.
- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
- You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better. (Applies
mostly to women)
- You see the "That's Life" team waiting for you in your
office.
- You see your picture at the post office with the caption
"$100,000 Reward".
- You think your toothpaste tastes funny, and upon closer
examination find out that it's Preparation-H.
- You turn on the news and they're displaying emergency routes
out of your city.
- You wake up and your braces are locked together.
- You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke; then you
remember that you don't have a waterbed.
- You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of
your panty hose.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
- Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat.
- Your car costs more to fill up than it did to buy.
- Your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good
news..."
- Your ex's lawyer calls.
- Your four-year-old tells you that it is almost impossible to
flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
- Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
- Your manager calls you into the office on a Friday.
- Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind
her own business.
- Your twin brother/sister forgets your birthday.
- Your wife says "Good morning Bill", and your name is George.
- Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.